Things Black People Love #2

Why is it every time I want to have a function, I set the time an hour (sometimes 2 hours) before I want things to jump off? Well, I have one easy answer for you. The answer is...

Black people like to be late.

I have heard many people say, "But if we get there on time, no one will be there," or some will say, "It won't be fun until about 2-3 hours after it starts." Black people, oh black people. We have got to get out of this mindset.

Black people frequently show up to various events 30-45 minutes late for no real reason at all. While lots of black people have heard the phrase, "To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is unacceptable," how many of them actually apply this to their lives? I know I will see how much I can get away with being late until it becomes noticeable or "problematic".

When Star Wars comes out, what do white people do? They camp in front of the movie theater in tents and sleeping bags so they can be the first to see it. Black people, have you EVER done this for a movie? I did not think so. The only black man in line was probably the bootleg man. Do black people stand in the mall waiting for the new iPod to come out? No, they do not do that either. Generally because when things first come out, they are not on sale. And let's just be real. Every likes a good sale!

To gain full acceptance from black people, white people still have the option to show up early and on time but they cannot be late with their black colleagues. For extra credit, inform your new black friends of what they missed while they were not there. But as a rule of thumb is to never complain about things/people not being on time or you may quickly get put in your place with quick responses to the effect of "no one asked you to come early."

Black people, if you would like to gain full acceptance of your professors or superiors, follow the lead of your white colleagues and show up inexplicably early to class or work. Do so in the beginning so that you will be seen as a person who wants to achieve...and wants to do it before everyone else. Additionally, you may want to disapprove of the habitually late people who sneak in because well, it's just not your style.